Tuesday, January 31, 2012


So today I started back on. It turns out that I ended up gaining every single pound back including a couple extra pounds and I am at 294.4 lbs. I was sooooo upset about how close to 300lbs I am... I have never and will never be 300lbs.  So that gave me alot of motivation! Also my mom is only 8lbs more than me which is another motivation because I am not letting her become less than me!!!! I want her to suceed and do well but I just can never bare the fact that she could possibly weigh less than me, so I will just push myself extra hard and encourage her along her journey because we both have a longgggggg way to go together!

Even though I just started today, I already feel soo much better. I started taking my vitamins again- i bought the gummy kind and they actually taste good!- so that could be a reason why. Also, I like knowing that I am losing weight and not gaining it!! Plus, i like planning and organizing my food plan for the day- to me it's kind of like a game. I always think about what good things can I eat today to add to my points that will benefit me or that I must eat. By having that mind set it will make it possible for me NOT to fall off the wagon again. On Weight Watchers you are allowed to eat anything that you crave as long as you dont have it everyday, don't overload on it, and you have the points for it. This is great because when I have a weak moment I do not need to make it into a weak entire meal or day in that matter!

Another thing i love about eating healthy is the FOODD!! For breakfast I had a banana, protien shake, and a tablespoon of peanut butter- 6 points and I got 2 calciums in... If I was still under 250lbs it would be all the calcium I needed for the day- I will probably have a cup of milk later! Also i snacked on this AMAZING hummus ( I eat hummus almost everyday when I am on program) that was a very spicy hummus by Sabra (sp?) (I loveee spicy!) with carrots... 2 tablespoons is 2 points... soo yummy... and is a good thing you can munch on for awhile... I also had a cup of Blueberry Green tea (my favoriteee) this morning. And a salad with roastbeef on top with 2 tsps of olive oil combined with a no calorie no sugar fat free ranch dressing and tons of veggies for lunch. Let me tell youuuu, this salad made me soooo fulll i had a stomach acheeee after- I was SHOCKED! I just had an apple and emerold's cocoa roasted almonds 100 cal pack... Another greattt treat.  For dinner I am going to make some kind of veryy lean ground chicken meat with concuction- not quite sure what maybe just a burger?

But yeah so I am kind of struggling with if I should go to the gym or not... I feel like I am wayyyy to big now to be on the machines and everyone will stare at me plus this time of year the gym is extra packed... Also I am saying to myself to wait to start exercising when my weightloss begins to slow down. Butttt on the other side, I feel like am I just making excuses up and I am going on vacation to Cancun in July for my cousins wedding... so I want to loose alot of weight by then! But I am also so exhausted today.. don't have sweatpants or good sneakers... because recently all of my stuff was stolen!! long story- dont want to talk  about it!!! So I need to at least buy some sweats! idk!! So yeah that's my first day which I think was pretty succesful food wise and we will see how the week goes :)

Signing out
Carbaholic Girlie

Monday, January 30, 2012

Twas' The Night Before The Diet!

Hey Everyone!!!

So...... Here's my weightloss pre-story in a nutshell!!

Im 24 years old  and have never been completely skinny! I have ALWAYS been overweight!
Growing up I was always into sports with school and the YMCA and most of my teen years- I was just chubby. A year and a half ago I weighed 218lbs... having lost 68lbs lbs- I was a weightloss machine. I trailed off my preferred diet (Weight Watchers) and was only suppose to be "off" for my birthday week. But then it led to: I dont want to see how much weight I gained so I will just try extra hard the next week and not weight in. but then seeing the weight that I gained and not getting the results I wanted made me discouraged! Then eating unhealthy eventually just became a natural thing that i didnt even think about anymore because i wanted to eat what i wanted to eat, and HOW much i wanted to... so I trailed off for a year and a half and am pretty sure I gained all my weight back! I am a very short girl only 5 ft 1 and almost 300 lbs- like that's crazy! I am a fashionable, popular, smart, fun loving girl and I get discouraged because almost ALL of my friends have the perfect body and can eat and drink whatever they want. But they do all go to the gym and eat less than me!

I am just sick of being the fat girl of my group, or the girl with the pretty face having the creepers who come up to me while we are out but not the hot guy that everyone notices. I mean I do get attention from guys being that I am SINGLE and young, but not like my friends. It's almost embarassing when we go out- Do they notice HOW much bigger I am then them in pictures- and we do take ALOT of pictures??? do they notice what kind of guys talk to me most of the time? Or I will get that type of guy who is embarassed that he likes or talks to me so he won't tell his friends about it and it will never get anywhere- is it because they have some kind of secret fetish or something? 

After gaining all my weight back  this time, I have the lowest self-esteem ever. i am sick at the fact that I let my body get this way AGAIN and its harder to look cute in any kind of outfit- if i can even find an outfit. I have no choice anymore but to shop at plus size stores unless i want underwear or accesories- which i absolutely LOVVEEE accesories!

So this it, this time I am doing this for myself- my health, my future and present life, and hopefully along the way it will help me find my future husband!

I am lucky though, I am not doing this alone- i have my mom doing this weightloss journey with me! She is just as overweight as I am and has been my whole life... so by me doing this i know she will be motivated by me and vice versa!

Tomorrow morning, we will weigh in to get our offical starting weight and weigh in weekly on Tuesday Mornings! So this weekend I ate and drank what i wanted, todays i had my last unhealthy foods so i can get it all in now lol! I  am  SO excited to start but def  not looking forward to see my weight :( but I got to face reality!

So  diet and gym membership that i havent used in 6 months here I come!

Signing out,
Carbaholic Girlie