Monday, January 30, 2012

Twas' The Night Before The Diet!

Hey Everyone!!!

So...... Here's my weightloss pre-story in a nutshell!!

Im 24 years old  and have never been completely skinny! I have ALWAYS been overweight!
Growing up I was always into sports with school and the YMCA and most of my teen years- I was just chubby. A year and a half ago I weighed 218lbs... having lost 68lbs lbs- I was a weightloss machine. I trailed off my preferred diet (Weight Watchers) and was only suppose to be "off" for my birthday week. But then it led to: I dont want to see how much weight I gained so I will just try extra hard the next week and not weight in. but then seeing the weight that I gained and not getting the results I wanted made me discouraged! Then eating unhealthy eventually just became a natural thing that i didnt even think about anymore because i wanted to eat what i wanted to eat, and HOW much i wanted to... so I trailed off for a year and a half and am pretty sure I gained all my weight back! I am a very short girl only 5 ft 1 and almost 300 lbs- like that's crazy! I am a fashionable, popular, smart, fun loving girl and I get discouraged because almost ALL of my friends have the perfect body and can eat and drink whatever they want. But they do all go to the gym and eat less than me!

I am just sick of being the fat girl of my group, or the girl with the pretty face having the creepers who come up to me while we are out but not the hot guy that everyone notices. I mean I do get attention from guys being that I am SINGLE and young, but not like my friends. It's almost embarassing when we go out- Do they notice HOW much bigger I am then them in pictures- and we do take ALOT of pictures??? do they notice what kind of guys talk to me most of the time? Or I will get that type of guy who is embarassed that he likes or talks to me so he won't tell his friends about it and it will never get anywhere- is it because they have some kind of secret fetish or something? 

After gaining all my weight back  this time, I have the lowest self-esteem ever. i am sick at the fact that I let my body get this way AGAIN and its harder to look cute in any kind of outfit- if i can even find an outfit. I have no choice anymore but to shop at plus size stores unless i want underwear or accesories- which i absolutely LOVVEEE accesories!

So this it, this time I am doing this for myself- my health, my future and present life, and hopefully along the way it will help me find my future husband!

I am lucky though, I am not doing this alone- i have my mom doing this weightloss journey with me! She is just as overweight as I am and has been my whole life... so by me doing this i know she will be motivated by me and vice versa!

Tomorrow morning, we will weigh in to get our offical starting weight and weigh in weekly on Tuesday Mornings! So this weekend I ate and drank what i wanted, todays i had my last unhealthy foods so i can get it all in now lol! I  am  SO excited to start but def  not looking forward to see my weight :( but I got to face reality!

So  diet and gym membership that i havent used in 6 months here I come!

Signing out,
Carbaholic Girlie

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