This weekend i went to the gym on Friday and Sunday to workout on the machines... i realized i am my have alot of my own demons.... the whole time i am having an inner battle with myself of how i think i cant do it... and i am telling myself yes i can get through it, this is the consequence i have to pay for all the bad desicions i have made with food, and I've made it through this workout before and i can do it again.... so I'm constantly arguing with myself... But when i leave i always feel accomplished!!! Another problem is that i think everyone in the gym is starring at me... i know that they aren't and they are only concerned with their work out but i still think that way... Friday i was at the gym sitting in my car battling with myself if i should go in or not.. after a couple minutes i finally did... then on Saturday i was on a bike after i went on an elliptical and there was only one bike open.. so i went to it and it was next to a man... i thought the whole entire time he was starring at me.. and i felt very insecure thinking that he was thinking why is this girl even here... but at the end of my workout he asked me what time the gym opens on Sunday... at that moment i realized he didn't care or was judging me at all... i am my own worst enemy!!! the only person truly judging me is myself and i need to defeat that if i want to get over this obstacle of loosing all this weight!!!!
Friday i got my taxes done... at least i will be getting money back! Then went home to just relax... Saturday i went to the gym then movies... i saw wonderlust- it wasn't the best movie or anything but it kept me laughing through the whole movie... we brought the healthy pop popcorn... with the fake spray butter... it was perfect for the movies!!! after the movies we went to Apple Bees... i had the sizzling chili lime chicken in the under 550 calories which was out of this world!! it was full of flavor and was extremely filling... it wasn't dinky at all!!! which was good because i thought it would be... Then i went home to relax for a little and got ready to go out... i had alot of fun and am still in the mind set of i don't want all those foods that i get cravings for because i see what its done to my body and i want to to find a healthier substitute for it if i am going to eat it.. so i was good!! we went to a diner afterwards... my friends got fries with gravy and cheese... i was even tempted to eat one... i got a cup of Manhattan clam chowder (the broth kind)... i figured that would be my best option... i probably went over my points a little bit yesterday.. but this is my first time diving into my weekly allowance/ fitness points... so i think i am ok... also today (Sunday) i went low on points just in case!
Everyday i am getting closer to my goal so i just have to enjoy the journey as i go along!